Love, Guilt and Survival: 3 Truths for New Moms of Two
Love, Guilt and Survival: 3 Truths for New Moms of Two
New moms of two, are y’all alright? I joined the ‘2 kids crew’ six months ago, and man, it seems like all I do is fuss. Motherhood is beautiful, but I’ve been trying to survive the ‘hood’ part more than anything. And it’s ghetto here, friend! Split attention, constant messes, sleepless nights.
The girlies warned me— “the transition from 1 to 2 is violent,” they said. But GAH LEEEEEE! Every night, I promise myself, “Tomorrow, I’ll be more patient. I’ll use my calm voice.” And then tomorrow comes—and BOOM, there I go, hollering again.
Then, cue the guilt. The “Dang, I really crashed out over X, Y, AND Z!” thoughts. The endless replay of every moment you snapped, raised your voice, or just couldn’t get it together. The second-guessing — Am I even built for this? Am I messing them up? Am I a bad mom?
It’s a constant cycle. But hear me out —you are probably doing better than you think. This season is tough, but you are not alone. And, if you’re in the trenches like me, I need you to remember these three things:
1. You’re not a bad mom.
The day I left the hospital with my firstborn, I felt completely overwhelmed. There I was, responsible for this tiny baby that I didn’t know and had no idea how to care for. I remember looking at the nurses like, That’s it? Y’all just trust me to mom when I’ve never mommed before? No handbook, no guidance—just vibes? But somehow, I figured it out, just like I’m sure you did too. And here you are, ready and willing to figure it out again. That alone speaks volumes.
I say all that to say—considering where you started, you’ve come a long way.
So, I don’t care what that little voice says—you are not a bad mom. A tired mom? Yes. An overstimulated mom? Heck yea. But bad? Nah, babe. Bad moms don’t worry about whether they’re getting it right. Bad moms don’t feel guilty after bedtime. They don’t replay the day, wishing they’d been more patient or present. The fact that you care and keep showing up even when it’s hard is proof enough. Your babies don’t need ‘perfection’; they need you. Messy, imperfect, trying-her-best you. And trust me—you are more than enough.
2. You are not failing—this is just hard.
Some days just feel impossible. The to-do list is never-ending, and you can’t make everybody happy. No matter how much you give, it feels like it’s not enough. But that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re doing something incredibly hard—often with limited time and energy.
The chaos? It’s not proof that you’re in the thick of it. Hard things feel hard. That’s not on you —it’s just where you are right now. And yeah, sometimes that fact sucks. But that doesn’t mean you do.
3. Love covers a lot.
I’m always amazed at how quickly kids forgive. It’s not something to take for granted, but something I am deeply grateful for. The grace that God gave children is wild. You might yell, you might lose your patience, you might just want five minutes of peace.
But as long as your babies are hugged, fed, and know they’re loved, they are good. I’m not saying it’s cool to go off on them at every turn, but I am saying that children are forgiving when we need it most. Even on your hardest days, they see your heart more than your mistakes. That kind of love? It’s truly unconditional.
So, give yourself some of the grace they so easily give you. Apologize when you need to, take a deep breath when you can, and remember—love, real love, makes room for imperfections. You are not ruining them. You are raising them, loving them, and doing your best. And that is enough.
Think about it..
What’s one thing you’re low-key proud of yourself for doing this week, no matter how small?
What does “doing my best” look like for you today, even if it’s not “perfect”?
